If I had you (February Challenge)
Feb. 13th, 2011 02:46 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
annabirminghamSummary - Oneshot from the Four-Two Offense universe. A few thoughts from evil!Ennis :)
Modern day AU/AU. Ennis and Jack met on the varsity volleyball team at high school. It was hate at first sight, or so it may seem...
Warnings - none
Length - 450 words
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If I had you, life would be much easier although it still wouldn’t make sense. Maybe all these weird feelings would just go away if I got it out of my system. I can’t stand the way you make me feel and I kind of hate you for it.
If I had you, maybe I wouldn’t feel the need to watch you all the time. I find myself looking out for you in the hallways between classes, in the cafeteria, before and during practice. It makes me crazy that I want to touch you so damn bad. I sometimes worry that I won’t be able to stop myself. That day when Coach made us have the one on one, I nearly didn’t.
If I had you, then maybe I could actually take a proper shower after practice, rather than racing through getting washed as I’m too scared to be naked in the same room as you. I can’t control the way that my body reacts when you get within ten feet. I sometimes can’t stand to see you, but I also can’t stand to stay away.
If I had you, then maybe I wouldn’t feel the need to do the things that I do. I wouldn’t have stolen what I did from your locker. I wouldn’t have hidden it in my bed and jacked off to it a million times, my face buried in its soft fabric, inhaling your scent, thinking all those things I shouldn’t think.
If I had you, perhaps I could say something nice once in a while and you would smile at me the way you smile at your friends. When I open my mouth I know I say hurtful things. I know you despise me. I like to call it self preservation, but I’m not really preserving anything. Stupid, huh.
If I had you, kissing wouldn’t be such a chore. I picture your face when I’m with her and I imagine what you would feel like, taste like. I try to ignore the feelings, but it gets worse when I close my eyes. I know I’ll have to walk away from her soon as it’s seriously messing with my brain.
This whole situation is driving me mad. I don’t know what to do about it and it’s eating me up inside. I know I take it out on you, but then again, you are the one causing it. I want you, but I don’t want to want you. I wonder if there’s any chance that you are feeling the same way. How would I even ask you that? I just know that things would be different, I would be different, if you were mine.
****
Modern day AU/AU. Ennis and Jack met on the varsity volleyball team at high school. It was hate at first sight, or so it may seem...
Warnings - none
Length - 450 words
****
If I had you, life would be much easier although it still wouldn’t make sense. Maybe all these weird feelings would just go away if I got it out of my system. I can’t stand the way you make me feel and I kind of hate you for it.
If I had you, maybe I wouldn’t feel the need to watch you all the time. I find myself looking out for you in the hallways between classes, in the cafeteria, before and during practice. It makes me crazy that I want to touch you so damn bad. I sometimes worry that I won’t be able to stop myself. That day when Coach made us have the one on one, I nearly didn’t.
If I had you, then maybe I could actually take a proper shower after practice, rather than racing through getting washed as I’m too scared to be naked in the same room as you. I can’t control the way that my body reacts when you get within ten feet. I sometimes can’t stand to see you, but I also can’t stand to stay away.
If I had you, then maybe I wouldn’t feel the need to do the things that I do. I wouldn’t have stolen what I did from your locker. I wouldn’t have hidden it in my bed and jacked off to it a million times, my face buried in its soft fabric, inhaling your scent, thinking all those things I shouldn’t think.
If I had you, perhaps I could say something nice once in a while and you would smile at me the way you smile at your friends. When I open my mouth I know I say hurtful things. I know you despise me. I like to call it self preservation, but I’m not really preserving anything. Stupid, huh.
If I had you, kissing wouldn’t be such a chore. I picture your face when I’m with her and I imagine what you would feel like, taste like. I try to ignore the feelings, but it gets worse when I close my eyes. I know I’ll have to walk away from her soon as it’s seriously messing with my brain.
This whole situation is driving me mad. I don’t know what to do about it and it’s eating me up inside. I know I take it out on you, but then again, you are the one causing it. I want you, but I don’t want to want you. I wonder if there’s any chance that you are feeling the same way. How would I even ask you that? I just know that things would be different, I would be different, if you were mine.
****
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Date: 2011-02-14 11:09 pm (UTC)Love from Slashy Mama
:D